I wanted to feel the rush of blood to my head, and to my loins, the rare excitement that caused my breathing to quicken - even if it came at the expense of reading more of that smut. And that, I could not let happen, not in the fragile state that I awoke in.At that moment I saw John's eyes quickly glance down my body before his head returned behind the door of the fridge.I stood there dumbly and looked down at myself, realizing with embarrassment that I had forgot my old terry-cloth robe that I normally wore and stood with only my cotton knee-length nightie. My son had been checking me out!Red hot shame came to my cheeks and before I could retreat my son closed the door to the fridge, much too firmly so that it shook the wall behind, and with an apple in hand and his book bag in the other he rushed past me without a glance. "Gotta go mom... gonna be late!"The door to our home slammed two seconds later.Still standing in exactly the same spot I again looked down at what my son had. At this point, I need to flash back to 10 years ago. Our social circle always planned a weekend camping and canoeing trip. My wife and I loved to canoe and we were pretty good at it. We had just received the bad news that Ella, my wife, had cancer. We figured a weekend of fun with friends was in order to get our minds off the future. This was the first year that Kate and her husband Kent were going to attend the weekend trip. We set camp on Friday night and canoed on Saturday. The trip started out nice and easy, but the river picked up its pace shortly. Kate and Kent were screaming at each other to the point the rest of us were getting uncomfortable. At the first stop, Ella suggested that we split Kate and Kent to end the bickering. Actually, she was more diplomatic. She said we should balance the experience level. She said she would paddle with Kent and I should paddle with Kate to keep it couples. Kent jumped all over this seeing that he truly was a jerk. Kate came over and made me.
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